On Eating Chocolate

I try not to know everything.  That’s quite a task in itself.  It’s quite easy to know it all.  I should know.  I sometimes have those visions of self-grandeur. But I do know this thing for certain.  I am an expert.  My way is the right way.  You would be wise to take heed.

I shall teach you how to eat chocolate.

You should start with 90% cocoa.  All else is a sugared-up, watered-down version… and while that may be a little bit of fun for your taste buds, it’s like settling for  ground chuck when you could have had filet mignon.

You should be drinking something hot to accompany your chocolate.  This will have your mouth nice and warm, all the more ready to melt the choice morsel.  I suggest coffee.

You should take small bites, and you should just let it sit there dissolving on your tongue, while the flavor glides throughout your mouth.  Don’t try to swallow too quickly.

You should only eat small amounts every day.  This keeps it in a place of treasured prominence… something to be looked forward to with great anticipation and happiness.

These are hard, dark, intense rules.  Please adhere to them.  When it comes to eating chocolate, I do know it all.


6 Responses to “On Eating Chocolate”

  1. Kim says:

    And she learned it from me!! Ha ha ha!!! Dark chocolate is the best : )

  2. Lawanda Calton says:

    Alrighty then….I’ll get some. Have always been more of a semi-sweet chocolate person. And if you ration any chocolate out correctly, the amount of sugar is not harmful. but I’ll try this dark stuff again…..

  3. Sandy says:

    Hee hee… the sugar may not be harmful… just a silly presence. I find it a nuisance! =)

  4. Betty Williamson says:

    This sounds like excellent advice. I’ll take it!

  5. Robin Nations says:

    Nibble nibble nibble nibble…..the only way to eat ANY chocolate.

  6. Cheryl says:

    You are so funny! And I have really researched chocolate as of late! I like 86% and really 75% better but I am still working on convincing my tastebuds to accept the 90%. I’m also making sure it has no soy which has been hard. But it has surprised me the taste difference between brands that have the same percentage and ingredients. My wonder yesterday caused me to eat more than my allotment as I compared samples. Today I’ve suffered the consequences and don’t get to have any.:)

Leave a Reply